Puppet Master

Tie your strings to my arms
Paint a refection of yourself.

Now practice a few moves.
Do I mimic? Good, you can start

Throw a punch.
I will apologize.

Tear them down with your words
I will take the blame.

Varnish your sword
I will suffer the consequences.

When they turn their back say what you really feel.
I will repent.

Puppet master.
How do you feel?

Drugs

Phenergan to take away the nausea from the guilt
Oxycodone to take away the pain of living
Morphine to separate me from the world


Benadryl to let me sleep through the day
Marinol to let me get away
Tramadol to sleep away the pain
Celexa to give me a happy mask to wear

Miss You

Its been a year since you died

A day since I cried

And a second since I’ve thought of you

Stupid cancer

Screw cancer

Maybe it is survivors guilt,

Maybe I will get over it

I hope not

I hope I think of you every day

I hope it brings a pain

I hope I want to cry every time I think of you

I don’t want to miss you less

I don’t want to skip the pain thinking of you brings.

A year you died

A day I cried

A second I thought of you

Life and Death

Two seats one empty one I sit in.

I know why it is empty.

But as I look at the seat once full

And I think of all I didn’t do.

To make it all right again 

That would be my life long pain.

            For I had love and love again

But I do not know what love truly

Means. I doubt  I Ever will.

But I know Hate and hate again.

And I know death for I am death.

Love sat by me in the seat but now the seat lies bear with regret and deceit.

For life is my love and love is my life.

But when life saw me she left. 

Down

Over a hill and down a bridge lives a man with hair but no wig 
 and a cat with fur but no coat 
and a dog with a waggly but no tail
 and bird with feathers but no wings
 and I for one never intend to live in a house with pets such as this
  and father with with hair such as that.   

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You washed my eyes to see the truth but I still seem to have mud in them

You give me chances more then I deserve but I still throw them aside

You let me do what I want but still I don't repay you

You are generrise but still I am a selfish giant

You are fare I am unfair to you who listened told me truth

You are the hero I well I am the villain to whom you try to guide

You are trying to guide me tell me truth but I won't let you in

To where you've wanted to be all these years 

You dance with me through all the good times

Held my hand through the hard 

Pick me up when I fall

Cry with me when we lose loved ones 

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I see myself now as I will see myself forty years from now.

I see myself cry.

I see myself laugh.

But soon will come a time when I will never see again

because I will have nothing to see.

I will be asleep forever.